Active listening scenarios11/23/2023 Practice writing “I Messages” in a large group, small group, or individually. Provide Handout 5: “I Messages” Scenarios. Follow this template as you learn how to communicate in a positive way, asking for your needs to be met. Learning to communicate clearly and honestly can keep things from getting out of control. And it does take a LOT of practice to use “I messages.” Handout 4: Active Listening Tips and Positive Messages suggests other things to keep in mind when formulating “I messages.”įailing to talk things over with landlords, roommates and neighbors can result in misunderstanding, hurt feelings, and arguments. We always have a choice in how we respond or react. “I messages” help you take responsibility for your own ideas and feelings instead of blaming the other person. They tell the other person your own feelings, what happened for you to feel this way and what can be done to help change the situation. “I messages” usually begin with the words “I feel” so you don’t come across as being critical of the other person. We can express our feelings (frustration, disappointment, anger, etc.) and needs without sounding accusatory. It IS possible to express strong feelings without increasing the conflict by using “I messages.” They help keep the conversation moving in the right direction. As Maya Angelou once said, “People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” People focus on their emotions and feelings and not at all on what you intended to say. “You” messages generally irritate people and can derail the conversation very quickly. When this happens, typically the conversation turns into a heated argument and people get defensive. These are statements that start with “you” and they tend to accuse, blame, or belittle someone. Have you ever tried to confront someone and planned to be very clear with your communication? Maybe you started the conversation like “You said you would fix the lock on the door.” When we have strong feelings in conflict, especially anger, we often use “You” statements. This technique is sometimes referred to as the “I Message” technique because it stresses speaking for yourself-saying what you feel and what you need. This activity provides some ideas how participants can more successfully communicate their needs and concerns when it is important to be heard. Suggested Introduction: Just as our emotions can get in the way of listening, they can also get in the way of clearly expressing ourselves. Anger and stress are natural responses to fear and pain, and make it harder to communicate. For both options of activity 3 it is important to note that this is the formula to help train our brains to respond, not react. Positive messages go a long way toward solving communication problems. Handout 4: Active Listening & Positive MessagesĬommunicating with “I messages” helps train our brain to make smarter choices which helps to deflate barriers to communication.(Objective 3: Practice formulating clear I messages.)
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